Marķa Carolina Cruz
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Anonymous by
Maria Carolina Cruz I am a fan of movies of the Elizabethan era, so when Anonymous was released, I was probably
one of the first people to watch it. I was equally keen to watch one of my favourite actors, Rhys Ifans, portray the main
character of the movie: Edward the Veer, 17th Earl of Oxford, and the man who inspires these lines. I can’t
recall how many times I’ve watched this movie; the acting is phenomenal and the subject is provoking, not to say heretic.
Anonymous is based on the Oxfordian theory that Edward the Veer was the real author of the works of William Shakespeare. Watching
the movie has inspired me to write about the importance of questioning what you’ve been taught, what you have learnt,
the status quo and what others have told you to be true. I am English and I believe that Shakespeare is probably embedded into the genetic code of our
country. We learned about Shakespeare pretty much at the same time that we learned about Jesus Christ, and to question the
authorship of the works under his name is as heretical as it is to question the life of Jesus Christ as we know it. The arguments used
by the Oxfordians to challenge the authorship of William Shakespeare are based on the similarities between Edward de Veer’s
public works and his well known lifestyle as a member of the court of Queen Elizabeth and the contents of the works attributed
to Shakespeare. I’m not an expert on either side of the debate of William Shakespeare’s authorship of the works
under his name, but I am very interested on what started the debate: a question. Imagine for a moment that you are a high school
student sitting through a 45 minute literature lesson about Shakespeare, taught to you in a classroom of 30 people. In
a conventional education establishment, to your teacher it is important to present you with the “facts” and help
you build some “knowledge”. After all, you cannot graduate from high school and not know who
the writer of the words “to be or not to be, that is the question” was. You are a very inquisitive student and start
to wonder how a man like Shakespeare, the man from Stratford Upon Avon, the commoner, the one without access
to the Court of England and Scotland could have written such tragedies filled with the knowledge of the level of intrigue
amongst the English and European courts, and the drama of the high state politics that only the aristocracy was acquainted
with, could have written such detailed and realistic accounts of the Elizabethan era. You raise your hand because you are
intrigued by this question and ask, “what if Shakespeare did not write the works you say he did?” Very probably your
teacher won’t be acquainted with Edward de Veer, or he won’t have time to dwell into such details, and what is
important to him anyway is that you know who Hamlet Prince of Denmark was. You then walk away with an important unsolved question
that will probably never be answered, and twenty years from now, you will refer to Shakespeare as the man from Stratford Upon
Avon who wrote Hamlet, Macbeth and of course, Romeo and Juliet. Our day to day lives are filled with examples of ownership of ideas
that we take for granted, that we never question. Virtually every day I hear someone at the gym say “if you exercise
before breakfast with an empty stomach you will lose the fat from your body very fast,” or “eating pork is really
bad for you,” or “carbohydrates are extremely bad to your body”. Said who? I wonder.
Was it in the news in Yahoo, or did you read it on Facebook from a friend of a friend’s timeline? Or was it in a prestigious
medical journal which has to render it true, because MDs never make mistakes. We have learnt to believe in everything that we read
and listen to, whether it is the opinion of an expert on the financial crisis, the words of an expert on the latest influenza
health scare, or the inspirational words of Lance Armstrong. Who cares if Shakespeare wrote his famous works or not you may say,
what matter is the content of the works, of those Romeo and Juliet lines that have made the world of literature such a beautiful
place. But I care, because as a writer, Shakespeare, the man, has been a source of inspiration, in the same way that Lance
Armstrong, the man, more than the athlete, inspired millions with his words. “What if?” is the question that we have forgotten
to ask ourselves. What if exercising before breakfast will be detrimental to my body? What if eating pork is actually good
to me? What if carbohydrates are not bad as I’ve heard they are? What if the financial crisis was just created to manipulate
the decision making on my lifestyle? What if the influenza outbreak is nothing but a lie designed to feed my fear of death
and bring millions to a bankrupt pharmaceutical company? What if Lance Armstrong was not as tough as I believe he was, or
even more, what if he really is an inspiration after all? What if Shakespeare was an impostor, and a great man, the real author, died without the recognition
he deserved for his own works? Forgetting to ask critical questions have turned us into small kites at the mercy of the storm of opinions
that surround us every day. We have forgotten to believe in what we really believe in, and we have learnt to believe in what
others have told us to be true only to be terribly surprised later on that those things were not true after all. “What if?”
ask yourself this question every day. It will train you to develop your own opinion and live your life under your own assumptions
and truths. You may be surprised about the outcome of your questions. Just watch the movie Anonymous, and see the reaction
of the public at the end of it. It is not easy to confront our system of beliefs, but it is far more difficult to live a life
filled with anonymous assumptions that others, not you, brought into it. A girly-bird
trying to make it in a male-bird world A few weeks ago, while
on holiday at my parent's home, we bought a little pink-yellow female canary. My mother and father already had five male canaries
wandering around in the big patio. There are huge bamboo trees and plenty of space to fly and feel as closer to nature as
possible. The little girly-bird arrived and we named her Paris. The vet told us that her pinkish colour was the result of
a very low protein intake. However, it was her colour that allowed us to set her apart from her male counterparts. On her first day at home, Paris behaved as expected: shy, sitting in a corner eating cake, seeds and fruit,
and not leaving the cage as the others. The next day, she ventured outside. We all wanted to see the reaction of the five
male birds who on the days previous to Paris's arrival, were singing loudly every day. Something strange happened: the
male birds ignored her and they also stopped singing. The third day, Paris became more
adventurous, flying high among the trees and already developing an attitude of "I am free!" The following weeks were a spectacle. Paris flew over and over from one side of the patio to the other, being
a happy girly-bird and singing all the time (despite the fact that the vet told us that girly-birds don't sing).
As the boy-birds had stopped singing, we were even happier to have Paris with us, even if her songs were a little quieter
than the boys´. As she jumped and flew and sang and stole the cake from the other
birds, we looked at the male canaries watching, in the distance. Even the youngest ones, seemed old and tired by her side.
It made me think about my own experience working as a trainee many years ago in a place full of older men. I was so energetic,
enthusiastic, so filled with energy, that would make the men around look like true skeletons waiting for a departure to other
dimensions. Then something gradually started to happen. Paris became shyer. At the beginning,
the change was unnoticeable, but day by day, she stopped jumping and flying and singing. She became like all the other birds.
And then it dawned on me: are we women, minority women in a male´s world, victims of the same protocol that nature exhibits?
We are after all members of the animal kingdom, and the female reaction of a female bird, wouldn't be any different than the
instinctive reaction of a female human. So I wondered, did Paris out of the blue realized
that her singing, and her flying and her energy were not making any difference in that place? All the male birds seemed united
in their silence, somehow disapproving of the outburst of energy of the new bird in the block. I remembered as a younger woman
going through the very same situation. Facing the condemning faces of grey coloured men disapproving the endless energy of
the new girl in the block. As I grow older and wiser, I ask myself if my behavior reminded those men of what it felt to be
young, to be free, not being afraid to show emotions and colour in your life. And then
I figured something out. I decided to pay more attention to Paris than the rest of the birds. I bought her pink toys, a pink
beauty mirror (perhaps cliché but I just thought that pink will remind her that she was not the only girl in the house).
I talked to her when she was sad, and I reprimanded the boys for isolating Paris so much. And then something changed. Paris
began flying again, eating more again, becoming more daring every day. She looked less afraid and somehow I think she demonstrated
that she could be the alpha female in a world of males. And then suddenly too, the boy birds started to follow her way and
move around and fly more and be just simply more adventurous. And then I reached a conclusion.
I never had anybody do for me what I did for Paris. A powerful hand that would show support and care. It was my inner strength
facing a world of men, most of them old fashioned, boxed in their mentality of "we love women in the kitchen". Then
I realized the sad, grey figures of so many older women, successful in their jobs, and quite ghostly in the street, looking
sad, almost insane, as if their female strength would have been sucked by a vampire. All those women who chose, perhaps forced
by the circumstances, to abandon that wittyness, that fantastic spirit of what makes us women. I
think Paris, the girly bird, may have actually been luckier than many women in the world trying to make it in a world of men. Who is there to lend a hand to all those strong and vibrant women? Who
is there to remind them that they can actually, with a little support, change their whole environment for good? What do you think? Are you the free bird flying and singing happy through
life, or are your wings cut by the invisible imbalance of simply being alone in a place where you know you can make a difference,
but you actually are not allowed to? Tell me who you are and how we can change this. Who told you, you could not do it? by
Maria Carolina Cruz Are you one of those guys who as
a little child won all the painting, singing, dancing, sports, poetry or drama contests? Perhaps you even won more than one
price in more than one category, yet today, so many years later, you wonder why you are so handicapped at those things you
were so brilliant as a child. Let me give you an example.
When I was 7, I loved drawing landscapes: mountains, the sun rising with its happy face in the middle of the mountains, the
clouds smiling in the sky, a big lake full of ducks, an apple tree, a house with a chimney and a garden with tulips. Most
importantly, there had to be colour, so each cloud was a different shade of blue, each ray from the sun was a different yellow
while the flowers of the garden were my real chance to experiment with colour. My paintings always won many prices. I did
not feel that I was born to be a painter; I just enjoyed painting, using colour and being me. Until one day, I had to draw a baby taking a shower. What ridiculous assignment required that
I draw a baby taking a shower? I don't recall it at all, but what I do remember is my teacher calling me a few days later
during recess. "Maria Carolina,what's this? It looks like a little monster! Let me show you how to do it." She then
painted the cutest baby, happily showering while still wearing his dipers. Not only she painted a perfect baby, she erased
my painting, and then she painted her own on top of my erased "little monster". Yes, I admit my painting did not
look like Baby Gerber, but it was not a little monster. It was just that I was good at painting landscapes and not necessarily
at portraits. The landscapes became less and less common.
I stopped wining contests. The boys and girls who could draw human beings instead of mountains and trees became the more favourite.
It never bothered me. It handicapped me, however, without notice, until I physically struggled to draw anything that was not
a mountain and a lake. I even failed drawing at School and even at University, I was the worst of my class in Technical Drawing
(nothing to do with painting apple trees and clouds, but still I should have at least been able to hold the pencil properly!)
Last Christmas, I read a book about ideas. The author
writes that we can all accomplish whatever we set up to do. He uses the example of drawing. He asks you to take any object
and examine it carefully. Observe it in detail. Look at its shape, colour, dimensions and material. Look at it from many different
angles; observe the way that its components relate to one another. Pay attention to it; somehow become the object. Then draw
it. You will be amazed at the results. I am a writer and
I invest a big deal of time and money finding and hiring the illustrators for my books. I thought, wouldn't it be nice to
be my own illustrator and be able to draw whatever is on my mind and put it on paper just as I imagined it during my writing? I then took one of my teddy bears, Aurora. I looked at her, I placed
her on a table in many different angles, I took time to observe her. Then, I took a big sketch album and did something for
the first time in more than 25 years. I actually painted her. When I was finished, she looked in the paper like my real Aurora,
she did not look extraterrestrial or like an elephant. She looked like my real teddy bear and not only was I able to paint
her, just as she is, but also to colour my paper with all the ideas that I wanted to express. I could have not asked an illustrator
to do this better because what I drew came from my heart. We
all have similar stories. The sports champion at School, who is now overweight and incapable of running 100 yards. The greatest
ballet dancer who wishes she could now dance some hip-hop, but she is too embarrassed and inflexible to try. The guitar player
who secretly believes that hadn't he stopped training, he would have been even better than Richie Sambora. Cindy Lauper had a great word on one of her songs: Insecurious. Right now, when you become conscious of the nature of your boundaries that made you
insecure, you can replace the feeling of insecurity with the feeling of curiosity, the curiosity of what would it be like
to cross the boundaries. Allow yourself to be insecurious.
You will be surprised as to how much talent is dormant within you. Wake up the real you and just do whatever it is you want
to do. Your inner child knows the way. . Everyone knows everybody, but do they? by Maria Carolina Cruz When I was growing up, these were some
of the answers given to my parents when they approached their friends or acquaintances looking for help: "If you would have only told me last week, I would have tried to help you." "If only my friend the Senator would have not died, he would have surely lent you a hand, but now that he is
gone...," "I will try to ask my millionaire sister in law to help you, but she is
so busy nowadays, I will try to give her a call but I will be lucky if she answers the phone." Or, "My best friend, the President of the United Nations, surely would like to hear about your idea, I will try
to give him a call and I will try to speak to him about it." Of course, there were
other innocent excuses, such as: "We run out of coffee cream ten minutes before you arrived!"
"All our money is currently invested in a large project overseas, so we don't have any
cash to give to your charity." Or my most favourite on the list, "I have a cousin
who is a famous singer, business woman, fashion model, president of a company; I will try to ask her if she can help."
Have you noticed the number of times that people use the word "try" in their conversations
and how many people just seem to have the perfect cousin? Growing up, I always found very credible
the stories of my parent's friends. Every now and then, I could hear the same type of excuses creeping in the conversation
with my childhood friends. I became more aware of it as a teenager, and finally, on my last year at University, I realised
that there was nothing innocent about being unable to say NO and fabricate stories to compensate for your lack of resources,
time and energy to help someone. I learnt my real lesson, however, many years later at my workplace.
I wanted to move to a job in Government Relations. I came from an engineering background
so the transition was not easy. I travelled to London where I met a fine person that offered me a six-month trial position
to see if I liked it. I did not accept immediately because I still had to discuss this with my boss for his final approval. A few days later, I received approval to move to the trial job in London. I called the fine person
to give him the good news. He, however, provided the best excuse ever in the repertoire of excuses. "We are having some
"sudden" re-organisation in my department, and unfortunately we won't be able to bring you on board this time." I told the story to someone with experience and influence whom I trusted. "Next time that someone
offers you something that good," he said, "take it immediately and move the issue forward; notice their reaction
and see how committed they really are and if they are serious or just bluffing. Many times people will tell you things to
impress you or to give you hope; they may think that you are not going to go through with your idea anyway, but they will
offer the help because they assume you will not take it. They may be simply too embarrassed to tell you NO to your face." This was without a doubt one of the greatest lessons I ever received. In
my new career as a writer, I meet many people who approach me and tell me things like: "I
think my best friend who is the most important woman in the United Nations who happens to be in Paris would like to know more
about you; would you like me to try to call her and try to talk to her about your books?" or, "My cousin is a very important editor, would you like me to try to give him a call one day and
ask him to read your manuscript?" Notice again, how some people just love to use the word
"try" for something that they will never do but want to give you the idea that they will help you. Notice also the
use of the word "cousin". I think many people just love to show off. So using the advice
of my trusted friend, my first reply was: "I would love to talk to your very important
friend in the United Nations. I am sending you right now a media pack that I put together for these types of occasions; it
will help your friend to know more about my books and me. I will travel to Paris to meet her, just tell me when and where"
Or, "My God! Let me send you right now my manuscript. Please send it to your cousin and
let me know what he thinks." Curiously enough, none of the two friends ever called again.
However, this time I knew that they were bluffing. I knew it, because when I took on their offer, their reaction was one of
disbelief; it was almost as if they became suddenly conscious of their lie. If they really wanted to help, they would have
at least written back to say that despite their efforts, they could not do it. (Please
also notice that if the help was unsolicited, one more reason to at least report on the outcome of a favour offered to you.) This is why I also took the decision to create my own publishing Company to materialise my own ideas
and move forward without relying on false promises. The lesson here is that many times you trust
all your cards in people who do not really want to help you but to impress you. In one way, it is their way to feel more secure
in your presence. If you are asking for help, it is because you need the help, not all the paraphernalia around influence
and power that some people just want to give you in an attempt to feel greater than you. If you
have not asked for help, and yet someone offers you a "show off" gratuity, then do not beat yourself up for being
suspicious. Be also aware when someone comes to you and offers help using the word "try"
too much. They will indeed go back home and debate whether to call their real or fictitious powerful person who can help you.
They will really "try" to pick up the phone but they will not do it. They will tell you that they tried to help
you and they will not be lying. They tried; they just did not do it. It happens everywhere,
in your work place, church, health club, pub, with family and friends. Everybody knows somebody who can help you in times
of need. Many of them will not move a finger to make it happen, yet they will tell you that they will try to help. Fewer of
us will actually make it happen. Cherish those ones who are sincere and be aware of the "show offs" that love the
verb to try. After all, if they really had so many friends in so many powerful places, why haven't they done something better
for themselves? Do
career parents make bad parents? Have your say. by Maria Carolina
Cruz In the streets of London, you could see
a billboard that read: "Career women make bad mothers. Have your say." After a few weeks, the furious reaction of
thousands of mothers across the UK, forced the removal of the message from 4,000 billboards around the country. It was
impossible to see the advert and not be engaged in a discussion. I was walking with my husband when I read the question in
the billboard and the first thing that came to my mind was, "why don't they ask if working men make bad fathers?"
My husband answered that it was probably because of the traditional assumption that the father is the main career person and
provider in the family, and that the parenting role relies on the mother. I am not a yet a mother, so I really
do not know what type of mother I would be. However, I have my own mother as an example, a mother who left her job to raise
my brother and me. Of course, my father who was a career man also played a very important role in our lives. It was my mother
however, who was there to drop us in the school bus and to pick us up every day for the long walk back home. She had a warm
soup for us on cold days or an ice cream on sunny days. She was the one who was by our side until we finished homework and
who helped us with the theatre plays and the recitals. The School called her when we were sick, when we were slacking off
or in trouble. Her work was with us, and oh... we were a lot of work. Because my father had a full time job,
I still wonder who would have taken the place of my mother if she had also worked outside of home. I get a knot in my
throat just by typing these words because my mother sacrificed her career life for us (which was also a big chunk of her life
itself), and I am incredibly grateful that she did. For many years, I believed that it was possible to be a successful career
woman and the mother of emotionally and physically healthy kids. However, when I started to see the guilty faces of women
rushing to drop off their child at the nursery on their way to work, I started to wonder if it was possible to have a successful
career wondering if the hands of another woman were taking good care of your little one. Of course, sooner or later children
have to go to school, but why sooner than later. It was not about being a good or a bad mother; it was more about her
child having or not a happy, loving and healthy childhood. If we were going to ask men to stay home and give up their
careers for their children, while their partners and wives went out to have a successful career, how many of those men would
actually do so. If women have access to abundant money and resources without the need to work outside of home every
day, how many women would stay in their careers? Would it make men better fathers? Would it make
women better mothers? Have your say. When heaven answers our orisons but stress takes them away. Dedicated to Christian Louboutin.
by Maria Carolina Cruz One of the greatest inspirations in my life and my career has been Christian Louboutin,
the god of shoe design. His famous red soles had inspired the branding of my Company, my books and of my person. When I discuss
how I want my books to look like, and I start deviating from the brand, my friends tell me, "this is your red sole,"
meaning that it is my brand and I should not change it. One
of my first articles, "I trade you my 999 Louboutins for your 9.99 glitter slippers," was a true story written to
reflect the sort of things that we do in times of difficulty and confusion. Using the name of Louboutin in my article was
very important to me and to the message that I wanted to convey. I received an invitation to attend a big branding conference in Istanbul where Christian Louboutin was going to be
a guest speaker. I planned it so many months in advance. I even rehearsed what I would tell him, in French, in the miraculous
event that I met him and could talk to him. The morning
of the big day, I became very stressed dealing with a team of attorneys. I was not happy about the way that things were going
on, and as I was getting ready to go to the conference, a phone call from one of them delayed my journey. I could not believe
the attorneys wanted to discuss their non-sense at that specific time, and I felt very upset that I was allowing the discussion
to ruin such a big day. I arrived two hours later for the conference, but still half an hour before the big presentation of
Christian Louboutin. The heated discussion with the
Attorneys left me exhausted and off balance. How more annoying could it get? I crossed the Bosphorus on my way to the conference
and I forgot about the beautiful views from the Ferry and my great day ahead because I still had the conversation from earlier
in the morning in my mind. I also took the wrong Ferry, which delayed me even more from arriving on time. By the time that I made it to the conference, everybody was on
a coffee break. I made my way to the conference room; it was empty since everyone was outside. I stood in silence, waiting
to catch up my breath when I notice someone standing just by me...it was Christian Louboutin! He was literally by my side
and there was nobody else but the two of us on that incredibly short moment of time. I did my best to muster my courage, and I approached Christian Louboutin to meet him, just
as I did in my mind so many times. The only thing that I could get out of my mouth was "Monsieur Louboutin, can I take
a picture of you?" He smiled at me, he let me take a picture of him, my hands were shaking and my head was paralyzed.
So much for all the rehearsals in French for the time I would meet him. I could not gather my thoughts; I wanted to tell him
so much how much I admired him and how much of a role model he was to my life and my business. However, I could not. The anger
that I felt in the morning took my focus away, and in such a big way, that I missed one of the greatest and most precious
moments in my life. By the time I had some balance
back in me, Christian Louboutin was surrounded by many people. Still I was the only one that took a picture of him, but still
I have the regret of having missed a very important moment. Many people are destabilizers. Their presence and their words bring confusion and anger. Maybe we have all brought
confusion and anger to others at some point in our lives, but some people just do it all the time. The real problem is not
what those people do. The problem is the way that we choose to react to them, when we allow them to destabilize us, anger
us and detract us from our path. If I could turn back time, I would have never held the discussion with the attorneys in the
morning prior to meeting one of my life heroes. If I needed to, because the world was about to collapse, which was not, I
would have not let it anger me, because it was going to bring instability to my thoughts and actions. Next time you are on the train, airplane, ferry or subway, look at those ones around
you. How many of them are thinking about the problems at home, or the day ahead, that you can see the stress in their faces?
What type of workers will they be during the day
when so early in the morning, they are already so grumpy? How many of their bright ideas will go unheard because their mind is confused and disorganised, and they will not
be able to express what they think and what they want? What
type of parents will they be at night when they bring home not only the stress of the morning but all the frustration of what
they could not accomplish during the day, because they were so stressed in the first place to accomplish anything good? Anger is a vampire that sucks our energy. Even when we are able
to vent it, it leaves a terrible residue that stores in our body as stress. Stress paralyses us, it makes us miss our life,
it damages our plans, it prevents us from acting the part that we so carefully rehearsed. I have the picture that I took of Christian Louboutin in my office, to remind me not
to get angry, to serve me as a reminder that nobody has the power to irritate me, unless I allow it to happen. And above all, heaven does answer our orisons, it is just that
sometimes we are not prepared for them, and we miss them all together. . 5 Steps to
becoming a Better Female Entrepreneur. by Maria Carolina Cruz As
more women in the world leave the corporate world to create our own enterprises, it is important that we face this challenge
not only with courage but skill. This is a compilation of skills that I believe are necessary before hitting the entrepreneurial
road. 1. Know
your numbers. I recently attended a Tax course in
London. The course was designed to cover in detail the Value Added Tax in the UK and the EU. 90% of the attendants were
women. In the UK more women than men choose the entrepreneurial route. It is very important for any Company or Business to
get the tax right. The course rapidly moved on from the theoretical part into the practical application of the concepts. The
assignment was simple; calculate the amount of taxes owed to the government from a very simple transaction. Can you guess
what happened next? I would say that 90% of the women in the group looked at each other completely puzzled. "Did you
say... calculate?... with a calculator?... how do I do that?..." Then the instructor looked at all of us and said: "Don't
panic Ladies! It is not as difficult as it seems!" Don't
panic... Ladies? What is going on? I thought to myself. How can you be a woman running a business if you
don't have the slightest clue on how to calculate a simple percentage? If you are totally not capable of performing such a
simple transaction, I think it is important that you immediately stop whatever is not essential in your business and take
a math's course because not knowing your numbers will ruin your business. Not only will you always have to rely on accountants
for even the simplest things, but if you run into a dishonest partner, you will lose total control of your Company or Business
before you even have the chance to figure it out. 2. Don't forget: Enterprise,
not Pulverize. Last week I read an article that has
astonished many men and women around the world. It was a story about a very famous female entrepreneur in England, who was
taken to court by her former employees because she subjected each one of them not only to tyrannical but illegal management.
The saddest thing in the story is that the female entrepreneur in question was the head of a Company specialized in Human
Resources Services, in other words, she sold to very large firms, her expertise on how to treat people adequately at the workplace.
In the meantime, she subjected her own employees to slavery and appalling management. She even received the price of Business
Woman of the Year in 2009! I have never recalled some
of the most successful male entrepreneurs involved in such a scandal. You will never hear something like that about Sir. Richard
Brandson. Then why is it that it has to be a woman who exhibits such a terrible behavior and sets such a low standard in Management?
We, as women, have campaigned for centuries about our right to have the same opportunities of men and be equally successful
at the workplace. So, if you are becoming the next role model to other women and to Society, your role is to create
enterprise, not to pulverize those around you. It is true that as we learn we will make management mistakes, but tyranny
and cruelty are not acceptable. If you feel the only way for you to move on with your Company or Business is to expect slavery
from your employees, it is not a bad idea that you stop your work right now and educate yourself in the art of management.
You may not yet make it into Harvard Business School, but nothing prevents you from reading the Harvard Business Review or
at least from getting into Google and searching: "How to be a better boss." 3.
Get Fit On the first days of my Career in the Oil
Industry, I met one of the greatest world leaders in the Energy Sector. He was an incredibly talented man who gave a speech
about his secret to success. He ultimately attributed his success to two aspects of his life: His wife and his fitness.
Without his wife, he would have never been able to progress in the way that he did, he moved frequently in assignments around
the world, and his wife made sure that during each transition, she was there for the kids and their home, since he was always
extremely busy. He was also a very fit person. He
said that during his career, he met more talented men than him; people that he thought would advance their careers a lot further
than his. Many of those men, however, died young to heart attacks, others had a bright brain but a body that could not respond
to the daily demands of their jobs, while others became so intoxicated from the stress, excess of food and drinking and a
sedentary life, that all they wished was to retire so their bodies could finally have a break. He instead was fit, he looked
at least 20 years younger than his real age and his energy was infinite. That is why he could leave all those men behind and
get the big job he thought he would never get. For women, the demands are higher. If you have a spouse or a partner, and he has his own job, then you both rely on each other
to take care of the kids and to run a home. So you are working a lot harder than the working man who relies on his wife at
home to handle the kids and the household. You must get fit if you wish to live to see and enjoy the growth and flourishing
of your business. It would be sad that a weak body is unable to drive the ideas of your very bright brain. 4. Nourish your mind. It is a funny story, and I don't think the person by my side questioned my inteligence, but years ago, on a flight
from Amsterdam to Boston, I happened to sit by a member of the board of Unilever. They produce everything from toothpaste,
ice cream, perfumes, the list is enormous. We started talking about my job, then he talked about his job, and then he asked
me: "do you know anything about Unilever?" My answer was, "of course I do!" Then he asked, "Tell
me two products that we produce." I jumped immediately to an answer: "Colgate and Häagen Dazs."
Politely and graciously he replied, "well, you certainly have mentioned two of our greatest competitors!" It was funny; Colgate and Häagen Dazs were competitors of
Closeup and Ben & Jerry's, two of the most important Unilever products. The point of this example is that, as a
business woman you will get to meet many different people with different jobs, cultures, aspirations, backgrounds and points
of view. Part of establishing business relationships is developing an empathy with your potential clients. The member of the
board from Unilever, for instance, was smart to educate me, after my wrong answer, about all the products of Unilever with
their history and importance to the market. To this day, if I have to choose between Ben & Jerry's and other ice cream
manufacturer, I will choose Unilever's because it reminds me of that very intelligent man. It is a good idea to educate yourself
in different topics. I admire a woman that knows who
Christian Louboutin is but who won't faint at the mention of Augustus or Napoleon. We cannot be expected to be
an encyclopedia, but it would be highly demoralizing for anybody that talks to you about Admiral Lord Nelson and his Navy
or about the latest Aston Martin, and your reply is that "War and Cars are for the boys" and then you flash your
eyes and go on talking about the "two for one" promotion at Walmart. 5.
Be a woman. What is the point of being a woman if
you are going to behave like a man? What was the point of having campaigned for years about the equality of men and women
in the workplace, and then the first chance you have to exercise your equality, you adopt the behavior of a man? What was
the point of having left your job in a large and reputable corporation because you felt you were never going to progress as
a woman, and now that you have your own Company and the future in your own hands, you choose to reinvent yourself as a man? Men are wonderful as they are. I personally do not imagine my husband
going to work with a pink pinstripe suit with red flashy shoes or embellishing his face with lipstick every time he needs
to do business with a woman. I believe for the same reason that we should not choose to cut our hair as a man, talk like a
man and dress like a man every time we are going to do business with a man. Women, we are also wonderful as we are. The principle
of equality is that we are able to tackle the same opportunities with our own identity. In the past, you could have
argued that you worked in a huge corporation and the culture of your organization drove the common behavior of women that
behave like men. However, now you have created your own place of work, your own standards and your own culture. This is one
of the perks of being an entrepreneur, the freedom to model your work environment to your own standards. Why would you like
to give up this privilege? . Gold Resists the Entropic Laws of Decay. By Maria Carolina Cruz On a previous article, I wrote about
envy and about how greater minds are feared by lesser minds. How your greatness reminds others of what they could not accomplish
and about how scared they feel to see you living your dreams, while they sit in a corner dreaming their life. In this article,
I would like to talk about Gold. Have you ever wondered why Gold is so valuable? In times of crisis, people buy and sell gold. Look at the streets,
at the TV and Newspapers. Businesses that buy your ´old or unwanted gold´ are booming .Every civilization on earth
has used Gold in one significant way or the other. Look at the ancient cultures in Latin America where corn was used as the
currency but Gold was offered to the Gods because it reminded them of the Sun. The Spaniards associated Gold with wealth and
even today, we stick to that association. If you find a sunken treasure, gold will be intact. If you find an ancient burial site in Egypt or
Colombia, gold will still remain intact. Gold resists the entropic laws of Decay. The definition of entropy is ´the
degradation of matter and energy to an ultimate estate of inert uniformity.´ What this means is that Gold resists the
degradation of its matter, Gold does not decay. This is why Gold is so valuable. So as much as I would love to write a Science article, my point
this time is to relate the properties of Gold to the qualities of your mind and your legacy to the world. Great minds are
like Gold. They don't decay. Great minds survive centuries and are studied and admired by many future generations. The work
of Great minds is like Gold, it is resistant to the passing of time. Look at the teachings of Socrates thousands of years ago. Even today, the dialogues
between Socrates and Plato, teach us the core fundamentals of Politics. Listen to the music of Vivaldi, still beautiful, still
genius. Watch the paintings of Titian, you can argue if the contemporary art has produced someone as influential as him. There
is not a Golden mind in any field that has not endured the test of time. We were born with unique talents. The apostle Paul said ´we have different Gifts,
according to the grace given us.´ Why not use that special talent bestowed upon us and use our great mind to turn that
talent into Gold. It is no different than turning Lead into Gold. We are powerful alchemists capable of transforming ourselves
into great masters. As
you read this, stop for a moment and ask yourself: do I know what my Gift is? If you don't know the answer to this question, right now, right
this minute, look around you, because the answer is staring right at you. I asked myself the same question many years
ago. I sat in my living room at home, and I asked myself: what is my Gift? What is it that I love the most in this world?
What is it that I want to dedicate my life to? All that I could see around me was my huge collection of books. I loved books,
there were books everywhere, big books, antique books, luxury books, paperback novels, books with jackets, books in Spanish,
books in Arabic, books in English, second hand books, even my own home made books. Books, books and books. But it could not
be! I worked in the Oil Industry. My Gift had to be in the Oil Industry, after all I spent already a third of my life becoming
a Petroleum Engineer and then working as one. My Gift had to be there, so I thought. When I finally realized my Gift years later, I chose to dedicate
my life to books. I am now the owner of a Book Publishing Company, and I am a writer. I spend my life reading, writing and
making books. There is nothing in the world that makes me happier. My books are my masterpiece and my legacy. Books are my
Gift, and if I am going to leave a legacy to the world and survive the pass of time, it is going to be through my books. If you read this at home, look around
you, look without judging, just look. Your Gift is reflected in your home. You know your Gift, it stares at you every day.
It can be anything, just become conscious of it, because unconsciously you must have already brought it into your life. I
am not joking if I say that if still you don't know what your Gift is and your friends make fun of your thousand pair of shoes'
collection, it may be that your real love is for shoes. So maybe it is time to start designing your own brand. You may become
the competition to Mr. Christian Louboutin. Gold survives the entropic laws of decay. So does your greatness. All it takes is to look around and find your Gift.
Time will reveal it to you anyway, but why wait until you near the end to figure it out? Use your Gift to become great. You
are Gold, you only have to remember it. . Great Minds are Always Feared by Lesser
Minds. By
Maria Carolina Cruz The choice is ours: we can spend a weekend watching Prison Break, or we can spend
the same time reading the great Dialogues of Plato. There are many choices that can be made; sleep late or get fit in the
park, eat a brownie or an apple, drink a martini or a glass of water, go on holiday to the beach or travel to a country in
need to volunteer your services, buy a new Porsche or invest the money on a new business. Life is full of choices; none of
them are right or wrong. The only wrong thing, however, is to allow the green eyed monster inside of us, to feel envy of those
who had made choices different than ours. What is even worst is to turn that envy into gossip, wanting to damage those who
chose differently than us. I
used to work in a big corporation. On one occasion, I had a female subordinate who made my life hell. She was on a secretarial
position, and as most of the women on my workplace were secretaries, she knew them all. I was her team leader, half her age
and a hundred times her education. I was not perfect but I was kind and fair to her. She was accustomed to be told what to
do by men, not by another woman. It was a very difficult experience. She used aspects of my private life to gossip about me
and use them to damage my reputation at work, as if wanting to bring me down with her, to damage me, to show everyone that
I was just another average human being like she was. I used to go home and cry for hours. It was exhausting to deal with her. I spent hours reading
the Harvard Business Review on how to deal with difficult subordinates, and I explored everything there was about female interaction
in the workplace. Until one day, it was a friend of mine who explained to me the reason for the behavior of that woman. She told me: first of all, you are half
her age. When she was your age, she was on the exact same position that she is today. Years later, she is stuck in the same
place, and you remind her every day of the life that she will never have. Second, you are a challenge to her paradigms.
She believes that Latin American women are the waitresses in the restaurants of her continent and the maids at home.
You have come to destroy her paradigm, because not only you are not her maid, but you are her boss. Third, you wear emeralds
to work every day! You come from Colombia! Of course you wear emeralds to work. For her, on the contrary, emeralds are precious
stones that she will never afford to buy, ever. Finally, you dare to live, hence you are meant to make mistakes. She has never
taken a chance in her life, and most likely she has not made any big mistakes either. You have, and you have made big mistakes
as well. She envies how lively you are, and she will use your mistakes to try to bring you down. Easy! I did not need the HBR to teach
me that. It is sadly a fact of life. Envy is a feeling that has the power to push us to excel, yet that motivates people to
damage other people. Envy
is not exclusive to women. It is everywhere. It does not recognise a gender, nationality or religion. It is there to damage,
to destroy. If you are
experiencing the envy of others, here are some things that you can do to analyse and improve the situation: 1. What is it that
you are envied about? Whatever it is, nurture it more, do not try to conceal it or hide it or stop having it. Nurture it,
improve it. 2.
Approach whoever envies you and help him to obtain that, which he envies you about. If your colleague Patrick is envious of
your perfect presentations at work, next time he has to stand in front of a crowd, offer your help, and help Patrick to excel
at his work. This is a very powerful tool at work. When you offer your help, and teach that person to shine like you do, you
have to be dealing with a very miserable human being for him to keep gossiping about you. Most of the times, he will just
shut up out of dignity. 3.
Never, ever, allow those who envy you to bring you down. It is tempting, believe me. When you walk in a corridor and people
look at you and disapprove of you, your instinct to fit, to be part of a group, may lead you to try to fit the mould. However,
if you fit the mould you are no longer special. You will be accepted, you will be liked. Those who gossiped about you will
still gossip, trust me. So you have not accomplished anything, only the approval of those who keep talking about you when
you are gone. 4.
Great minds are always feared by lesser minds. Your greatness reminds others of what they could not accomplish. It scares
people to have great people around. It is a scary feeling to be left behind. It is very scary to see someone living her dreams
while you sit in a corner dreaming your life. So keep moving forward and pay less attention to the lesser minds and more attention to the greater minds. Learn
from both, there are powerful lessons about human behavior and human nature in every person we deal with. Do not, however,
dwell too much with those who´ve chosen to envy you and criticise you, after all, very soon, you will leave them behind. Witnessing the Rapid
Change of a Species. by Maria Carolina Cruz Recently, while waiting on an airport lounge for my very delayed flight, I read on a psychology/fashion/beauty magazine
an article about the way that men think. The article revealed the conclusions of a study conducted in the Netherlands about
the effect that women have on the ability of men to think properly. The conclusions of the study were that in the presence
of a female, a man will lose a significant part of his ability to reason adequately, even reaching the point of memory loss.
The more physically attractive the woman is, the more the man’s brain will struggle to perform effectively. In
business, this means that if a man is having a business discussion with another man his brain will be properly engaged. If
the same discussion, however, were to take place with a woman, the ability of the man to carry on with the same discussion
will be seriously challenged. The study reveals that the reason for this behavior has to do with the unconscious and primitive
constant search by men of mating opportunities. The female presence excites this instinctive behavior on the man. For
us women, things are differently. Only a moment earlier glancing through some other magazines, I came across the double page
picture of Tom Ford advertising his latest fragrance. I know without a doubt that if Tom Ford were to be sitting before me,
I surely would not be distracted by his incredible beauty, and I surely would be able to completely engage in a discussion
with a beautiful and iconic man. In other words, the beauty of a man would not affect my ability to interact with him and
certainly would never prevent me from conducting business with him. So, is a male primitive instinct responsible
for the huge imbalance that women are subjected to in the workplace? Coincidentally enough, the study was carried
out in the Netherlands, a Country where I worked and lived and where I recall the majority of the men asking me the eternal
question of “why is an attractive woman like you, with such a dark and long hair, working in our office?” It seems
to me that the question was not only sexist and completely inadequate but also reflected their total incapacity to converse
intelligently with a woman. It explained also why many women in the workplace abandoned their natural womanliness choosing
to look and behave like a man in order to be listened and taken into account. What is the solution to this terrible dilemma? It
occurs to me that there are “evolved” men out there with new developed instincts, capable to recognize that the
survival of the species has to do more with collaboration with the female species rather than the consumption of the female
species. It also occurs to me that nature is rapidly creating a selection of “female hunters” responsible for
empowering the female species, so we emancipate ourselves from the concept that we are the prey. Releasing our mind from this
idea will help us understand that men have used their “male mating instinct” excuse in order to ignore our abilities
and intelligence. By choosing not to be the prey, we are also able to once and for all shatter a terrible idea that has limited
us from the days we lived trapped and isolated in dark caves. We are witnessing the rapid change o a species. Women
gatherers becoming women hunters; women who are reclaiming the power that men claimed entirely too much for themselves. It’s
all about balance and equilibrium of the species. If we don’t let it happen, we may disappear all together trying to
figure out how the instincts that we thought helped us evolve, led us to our ultimate destruction. Oh, and about the
long and dark hair issue. Perhaps most of those men fear in their nightmares the “hair monster” because I still
cannot figure out what does long and dark hair has to do with it. My advice to women would be: instead
of cutting your hair let him get therapy and figure out his nightmares. Frankfurt Book Fair talk by Maria Carolina Cruz: Girly girls who Build Rockets
and Manly Boys who are not Afraid of them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16CuPHzBmqw . How
High are the Stakes? (October 31st) by Maria Carolina Cruz If you are a fan of Madonna, you may agree with me that her album "Confessions on a Dance
Floor" contains some of the most metaphysical messages that you can find in music. If you are not very familiar with
her music on this album, I can advise you to listen to her songs because they are truly motivational. I want to devote this
article to one song in particular: How High. "How high are the stakes? It is Sunday night. You have a 9 to 5 job in the office that you know is
really a 7 to 7. Tomorrow is Monday and you are preparing yourself for a 60 hour job, not counting the commuting time if you
live in a big city like London or NYC. You may love your job, or you may not. If the later is true for you, I know that the
perspective of Monday approaching is cramping your guts. You wish you'd win the lotto so tomorrow you don't have to put yourself
through that feeling again. Something within you tells you that this job, this part of your life, is making you miserable.
You dream of that house with a pool and a huge yard, and you stick to the job because common sense tells you that if you work
hard, you will be able to afford it one day. But you know, you really know, that the 7 to 7 job is not going to cut it.
The hero in you takes over and asks you point blank: How high are the stakes? So
now the hero in you has taken over. The next question is how much fortune can you make? Fortune can mean whatever is important
to you: happiness, cash, time, power, influence... it is your personal meaning of fortune. You have spent many years blaming
your job for your lack of fortune. You work so hard that you come home really tired only to turn on your computer to keep
up with your unanswered emails, you are not happy. You earn so little money for all the effort that you put into your job
that you don't have enough cash to do all the things that you want to do. You are so busy with your 60 hour job that extends
into weekends and holidays that time for you is more valuable than any platinum and diamonds. You have a horrible boss that
apparently thinks you are invisible because you really, your power of decision and your real influence in the outcome is very
limited. The creative side of your brain is starting to take over, and you start asking yourself: if only I was brave enough
to listen to the hero within, how much fortune can I make if I were to choose something better for myself. Of course you have a right side of the brain, so it does not matter what the hero within
tells you or the left side of the brain advises you, you start thinking if it is really worth it. Will it get any better?
Perhaps you leave your job, by choice, only to find yourself without your safety cushion. The salary is gone, the pension
money is not growing any longer plus you know that the investment ahead is so big, that it will take time to break even if
you manage to break even. It is really scary. You know if you make it, it will be a lot better. You will start living life
under your own terms, pretty much your way. You start relating to Sinatra's song "My Way". You play it for inspiration.
You know, you really know it is going to get better. Fear, however, will tell you only that the odds are against you. Fear
will show you only the obstacles, not the possibilities. You look for a simple answer to your question: does this get any
better? As you debate with yourself about the possibilities, you think about
that special person in your life that makes it all worth it; a child, a spouse, a sibling, a parent, a friend. You start asking
yourself whether carrying on with this heroic plan is going to be the path to your fortune. You ask yourself whether you should
carry on or stay where you are. You have a moment of honesty when your guts are suddenly not cramped any longer. You think
about the available time that you will now be able to spend with your child, you think about your spouse who puts up with
you every day of your life when you come home grumpy after work, you think about those friends that you haven't hanged out
with for a while, you think about who you care for the most, and as you start considering the possibility of carrying on,
your guts are not cramped any longer. You feel good, you are relaxed, you have now felt in your body what it is boiling in
your imagination. You like the feeling but it seems you are still scared. We
all die. I believe our soul doesn't die, but I believe that I don't want to die without leaving a legacy. You go through the
entire process once again, and you wonder if the 7 to 7 job is leaving a legacy. If you love your job, surely something that
you do is fulfilling your life's purpose, and, even if you don't know it, you are leaving something greater than you for humanity.
If you hate it, however, chances are you are not where you are meant to be. You were born with something unique to give, and
you don't want to be gone without having used your special gift. Will it matter when I'm gone?, perhaps it is time to give
it a try. It is not even Monday yet, and you are ready to give it a try.
The stakes are high, there is a huge fortune to make, it will get much better and because of that you are ready to carry on.
You know that when you are gone, what you did will still matter because you will make a difference. So yes, all of this matters.
You have nothing to lose and everything to win. It is Monday morning, you are happy and relaxed. It may be or not a
busy week ahead. You, however, feel that this is the life you crafted for yourself. You are adding the colours and the textures
that you want for your life. No one else is painting on the canvas of your existence. You are the master and you are the painting.
Yes, the stakes were high. . News Article in SABAH newspaper- Turkey An article has been published in the special
book suplement of SABAH news paper in Turkey about two books of Author Maria Carolina Cruz: "The Adventures of Camila
in the Oil World" and "The Adventures of Grobje and the Crew of Pirates". The books have been selected
from a large selection of children's books exhibited at the Frankfurt Book Fair. http://www.planetalice.net/images/Articulo_Comp.jpg
. The Magic is in the Process.
(October 17, 2009) by Maria Carolina Cruz If you find yourself reading this
article, chances are you have been stumbling from one task to the other, with a fixed goal in mind and working hard to reach
your objective. For a moment, sit still and breathe slower. Become conscious of what is happening inside you. Suddenly,
you become aware of your own presence reading this article. Not your autopilot, but the real you. You may start noticing other
experiences, such as hearing the buzz of your computer, or the laughter of a colleague, in the distance, perhaps some children
passing in the street, depending on where you are, you will even hear the birds and the sound of the trees moving with the
wind. Those are sounds you heard many times before, but now you become aware, you are listening to them. . The Innocence of Age. (October 11, 2009) by Maria Carolina Cruz I wonder if experience comes with age, or with certain exposure to
a certain subject. Let me give you an example: you are 60 years old, and you worked all your life in the same office
doing the same job, let's say handling the contracts of your division. People around you will call you very experienced at
what you do. Then a new 32 year old employee arrives at your office, and she has worked in at least five different countries
handing very different types of contracts in very different types of working environments. .
PRESS RELEASE:
Eliminating the Battle of the Sexes. Cruz is a featured speaker at the Frankfurt Book Fair in her conference "Girly
girls who build rockets and manly boys who are not afraid of them". This is a conference to encouraege self empowerment
and equality. http://www.planetalice.net/Girly_Girls_PR.pdf
. The CPR of Office Dynamics:
Competition, Purpose, Reward. (October 4, 2009) By Maria Carolina Cruz . PRESS RELEASE: Safety is no accident. Inspiring new book by author Maria Carolina Cruz
explores the power within us all to preserve life by investing in Safety. http://www.planetalice.net/Grobje_PR.pdf
. Why you shouldn’t let your Boss take Control of your Career. (September 20, 2009) by Maria Carolina
Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1089736?articleid=1089736 . PRESS RELEASE: Inspiring
Book Empowers Girls and Women to Pursue Even the Most Male-Dominated Careers without Giving up Their Uniqueness. Author Maria Carolina Cruz writes from first hand
experience, having worked all her life in the oil industry and in countries where women aspirations tend to be severely limited. http://www.planetalice.net/The%20adventures%20of%20Camila%20PR.pdf . You Need a Mentor, Not Your Mentor’s
Tick in the Box. (September 12, 2009) By Maria Carolina Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1070132?articleid=1070132
. . I trade you my $999 Louboutins for
your $9.99 glitter slippers! -Desperate measures from desperate women. (Aug 22, 2009) by
Maria Carolina Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1032469?articleid=1032469 . . A
girly-bird trying to make it in a male-bird world. (August 16, 2009) by Maria
Carolina Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1023619?articleid=1023619
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